Inside the Real-Life Relationships of the “Grey’s Anatomy” Cast

Stephanie Sengwe, Jordana Comiter, Nicole Pomarico, Emily KrauserSun, October 25, 2026 at 1:30 PM UTC

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From left: Patrick Dempsey and Jillian Fink attend the CHANEL and Charles Finch Pre-Oscar Awards Dinner in Beverly Hills, Calif., on March 1, 2025; Ellen Pompeo and Chris Ivery attend the ceremony honoring Pompeo with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in Los Angeles on April 29, 2025Credit: Gilbert Flores/Variety via Getty ; Michael Buckner/Variety via Getty -

Season 23 of Grey’s Anatomy premiered in October 2026 on ABC

Grey’s Anatomy is known for its characters facing emotional rollercoasters in their relationships

Off-screen, several cast members are in long-term marriages, including titular star Ellen Pompeo and James Pickens Jr.

Grey’s Anatomy is full of medical and romantic drama in and out of the operating room at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital; however, off-screen, the cast has less complicated love lives.

Viewers have watched countless couples split and reunite on the series, with even more complex relationship dynamics to be explored in season 23, which premiered in October 2026.

The ABC medical drama has delivered unforgettable romantic storylines over the years, including Derek Shepherd (Patrick Dempsey) and Meredith Grey’s (Ellen Pompeo) iconic Post-It note vows and Jackson Avery’s (Jesse Williams) jaw-dropping love confession to April Kepner (Sarah Drew) during her wedding.

While Meredith’s famous “pick me, choose me” line might’ve inspired the Gen-Z “pick-me girl” trend, Pompeo, who scaled back her role in 2022 after 19 full-time seasons, has been married to her husband Chris Ivery since November 2007.

Several of Pompeo’s castmates also have sweet, long-lasting loves. James Pickens Jr. wed his wife in May 1984, while Camilla Luddington has been married since August 2019.

From a couple who met on set to two who have been married for decades, here are the real-life loves of the Grey’s Anatomy cast.

01 of 16

Ellen Pompeo and Chris Ivery

Ellen Pompeo and Chris Ivery attend the ‘Vanity Fair’ Oscar afterparty at the Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts in Beverly Hills, Calif., on March 2, 2025Credit: Stefanie Keenan/VF25/WireImage

When Pompeo hangs up Dr. Meredith Grey’s scrubs, off-camera, she goes home to Ivery, her husband of nearly two decades. The pair met in 2003, but it wasn’t “a love at first sight” story.

During a December 2022 appearance on The Drew Barrymore Show, Pompeo said she met Ivery in a grocery store, where he knew a friend she was with.

They didn’t have “some big romance that happened over crackers and cheese in the aisle” right then; instead, they exchanged a quick “hello.”

“Then he called me a bunch of times, and I wouldn’t call him back. And then he said, ‘You’re rude. You won’t call me back,’ and I said, ‘Well, because I’m not trying to go on a date with you,’ and he said, ‘Who’s trying to go on a date with you? I don’t even know you,’ ” she recalled. “And so, we had a fight first. That’s kind of always the way to my heart is like, piss me off and I’m all yours.”

The Emmy-winning actress and Ivery married on Nov. 9, 2007. They later welcomed three children.

Despite his wife’s long tenure on Grey’s Anatomy, Pompeo revealed on Alex Cooper’s Call Her Daddy podcast in March 2025 that Ivery has “really never watched the show,” which helped keep their relationship separate from the on-screen love story between Meredith and Derek that resonated with fans.

“It was better for him. He knew just not to watch,” Pompeo said. “I was with him before Grey’s, so Grey’s kinda came out of nowhere for us, and I just think we were on this crazy ride that we were just trying to hang on for dear life.”

02 of 16

James Pickens Jr. and Gina Taylor

James Pickens Jr. and Gina Taylor Pickens host a Pre-Emmy Food Tasting Mixer in L.A. on Sept. 18, 2013Credit: Maury Phillips/WireImage

Pickens has played Dr. Richard Webber on Grey’s Anatomy since season 1 premiered on March 27, 2005, but he’s been a married man off-screen even longer. He and his wife, Gina Taylor, wed on May 27, 1984.

Taylor has maintained her privacy over the years, though she previously appeared in Deliver Us from Eva (2003) and was featured on soundtracks for Sing Along Songs: Brother Bear (2003) and The Lion King 1 1/2 (2004).

The couple share two children.

03 of 16

Camilla Luddington and Matthew Alan

Matthew Alan and Camilla Luddington attend the Style Awards at the Four Seasons Hotel Los Angeles at Beverly Hills in L.A. on Jan. 3, 2025Credit: Stefanie Keenan/WWD via Getty

Luddington knows a thing or two about longtime loves as Dr. Jo Wilson on Grey’s Anatomy, much like her real-life romance with Matthew Alan, a fellow actor known for his role on 13 Reasons Why.

The English actress and Alan’s first date in 2008 was to a Temper Trap concert. When they tied the knot on Aug. 17, 2019, Luddington paid homage to their early days dating by walking down the aisle to Temper Trap’s “Sweet Disposition.”

Around 70 of their closest friends and family, including former Grey’s costar Jessica Capshaw, attended their intimate California coastline wedding.

“We kind of already feel married because we have a 2-year-old,” Ludding told PEOPLE at the time. “But there’s something romantic to us about solidifying that family unit by having the ceremony and actually having Hayden present. To be honest, I’m just excited to get into that new normal of married life.”

Their firstborn, daughter Hayden, was born in April 2017, and her little brother Lucas Matthew joined the family in August 2020.

04 of 16

Harry Shum Jr. and Shelby Rabara

Shelby Rabara and Harry Shum Jr. attend UNFORGETTABLE: The 20th Annual Asian American Awards, presented by Character Media, at the Beverly Hilton in Beverly Hills, Calif., on Dec. 17, 2022Credit: Emma McIntyre/WireImage

Harry Shum Jr.’s character, Dr. Benson Kwan, has found himself in complicated romantic situations since joining Grey’s Anatomy on season 19. In real life, he’s been going strong with wife Shelby Rabara, whom he began dating in 2007.

During an October 2022 appearance on The Jennifer Hudson Show, Shum shared that their first date was going to the theater to watch Dreamgirls, the 2006 film adaptation that host Jennifer Hudson starred in.

Noting that they “both cried” over the “beautiful experience,” he said. “It really kinda brought us together, and we opened up about a lot of things, and it was just such a beautiful first date.”

Shum Jr. and Rabara got engaged in October 2014 and tied the knot on Nov. 1, 2015. They welcomed daughter Xia in March 2019.

In 2024, Shum and Rabara released the children’s book Martee Dares to Dance, inspired by Xia’s love for the art, which mirrors her parents’ passion.

In addition to appearing on her husband’s show Glee, Rabara landed a role in 2009’s 17 Again and lent her voice to Cartoon Network’s Steven Universe franchise.

When asked in June 2026 what the secret was to his and Rabara’s connection, Shum told PEOPLE, “I think, to me, it’s like there’s no secret. I think it’s just loving each other in different stages.”

05 of 16

Jason George and Vandana Khanna

Jason George and Vandana Khanna attend The Trevor Project’s 2016 TrevorLIVE LA at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, Calif., on Dec. 4, 2016Credit: Tommaso Boddi/Getty

Jason George‘s character, Dr. Ben Warren, may be devoted to Dr. Miranda Bailey (Chandra Wilson), but in real life, the actor’s tight bond is with his wife, writer Vandana Khanna. The pair met in college and wed on July 10, 1999.

So, what’s been the secret to their long-lasting marriage?

“We fight fair,” George told host Steve Harvey on his talk show in November 2017. “You’re gonna have fights. If you don’t have fights, you’re not being honest. So when you fight, you’ve gotta be fair about it.”

Asked to explain further, George elaborated, saying, “When you settle it, don’t say it’s settled if it’s not, and then bring it up six months later. So when you settle it, it’s settled.”

George and Khanna have three children.

06 of 16

Chris Carmack and Erin Slaver

Erin Slaver and Chris Carmack celebrate the 400th episode of ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ at the Highlight Room in L.A. on May 5, 2022Credit: Stewart Cook via Getty

Chris Carmack has played orthopedic surgeon and heartthrob Dr. Atticus “Link” Lincoln since season 15. Off-camera, he married his longtime girlfriend Erin Slaver on Oct. 19, 2018.

“Chris and I are overjoyed to now be husband and wife!” Slaver told PEOPLE of their special day. “The wedding, although a blur, couldn’t have been a more perfect beginning to the adventure that lies ahead for our family.”

The pair met on the set of Nashville and got engaged in 2016. They have since formed a band together called Life on Eris and released their debut EP, Stonewall, in October 2020.

Speaking to PEOPLE about the album and their relationship during the COVID-19 pandemic, Carmack said, “We don’t always walk in the door, and it’s a fairytale around here. Relationships can be so complex, especially during a pandemic. However, I would say I feel stronger now than I did at the beginning about our relationship. We both have grown in our ability to say ‘I’m sorry. ’ ”

Carmack and Slaver share two daughters: Kai, born in August 2016, and Cielle Estee, welcomed in May 2022.

07 of 16

Kevin McKidd and Danielle Savre

Danielle Savre and Kevin McKidd attend the Walt Disney Company’s Post-Emmys Celebration at Otium in L.A. on Jan. 15, 2024Credit: Stewart Cookt/Disney via Getty

Kevin McKidd portrayed Dr. Owen Hunt from seasons 5 through 22. (He’s also directed several episodes.) Off-screen, he’s been dating former Station 19 actress Danielle Savre since at least June 2023.

They made their red carpet debut in November 2023.

Two months later, in January 2024, they stepped out together again at the 2023 Emmy Awards Celebration, where McKidd opened up to PEOPLE about his new relationship.

“We’re really happy, and she’s an amazing human being, so I feel lucky on many levels in my life right now,” he said.

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The Scottish actor has four children from previous relationships.

08 of 16

Kim Raver and Manu Boyer

Manu Boyer and Kim Raver attend Lifetime’s Female Directors and Leading Actresses 2019 Winter Television Critics Association Press Tour at the Langham Huntington in Pasadena, Calif., on Feb. 10, 2019Credit: Jesse Grant/Getty

Kim Raver began playing cardiothoracic surgeon Dr. Teddy Altman in season 6 before exiting the drama after season 22. Away from set, the actress has been married to French director Manu Boyer since July 2000.

Asked about their first meeting, Raver told Women’s Health, “I met him in New York, in a swimming pool. That first meeting is kind of sacred, so I think I want to keep it to myself.”

The pair share two sons.

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Patrick Dempsey and Jillian Fink

Patrick Dempsey and Jillian Fink attend Chanel and Charles Finch’s Pre-Oscar Awards Dinner at the Polo Lounge in Beverly Hills, Calif., on March 1, 2025Credit: Gilbert Flores/Variety via Getty

Dempsey stole the hearts of Grey’s Anatomy fans as Dr. Derek Shepherd, a.k.a “McDreamy,” but off-screen, he’s devoted to his wife, Jillian Fink.

His run-in with his wife was written in the stars — well, on a calendar. When they met in 1994, Fink, who owned a hair salon, had an employee who jokingly jotted down celebrity names in the appointment book, so when she saw her future husband’s name on the list of clients, she thought it was another ruse.

That meant she was pleasantly surprised when Dempsey did, in fact, walk in. “I was shocked,” she said. “But at the same time, I was happy because he was so cute.”

At the time, both were in relationships, and they didn’t get together until 1997. Fink moved in three months after their first date, and the couple wed on July 31, 1999.

The Dempseys have been honest about the tougher times in their union, including their near-split in January 2015.

“Our marriage was not something I was prepared to let go of,” the Memory of a Killer star told PEOPLE in September 2016. “I didn’t feel like we had done all the work. And we both wanted to do that work. That’s where it started.”

The couple have three children.

10 of 16

Justin Chambers and Keisha Chambers

Keisha Chambers and Justin Chambers attend the 37th Annual NAACP Image Awards at the Shrine Auditorium in L.A. on Feb. 25, 2006Credit: Jason Merritt/FilmMagic

Dr. Alex Karev had a conflicted heart on Grey’s Anatomy, but in real life, Justin Chambers has only had eyes for wife Keisha Chambers for over three decades.

The two met when Justin was working as a model in the early ‘90s, and his wife was a booking agent. They wed in 1993 and share five children.

During a 2007 conversation with Good Housekeeping, the Offer actor opened up about his long-term relationship with his soulmate, saying, “We’ve been together for so long that I really don’t know any other way to be.”

“Every relationship has its ups and downs, but I’m glad I get to go through the ups and downs with her,” he continued. “I just feel really fortunate to have found someone who will be my partner on this journey.”

11 of 16

T.R. Knight and Patrick Leahy

Patrick Leahy (left) and T.R. Knight attend the Manhattan Theatre Club’s production of ‘The Balusters’ on Broadway at the Samuel J. Friedman Theatre in New York City on April 21, 2026Credit: Bruce Glikas/FilmMagic

T.R. Knight — who portrayed the beloved character Dr. George O’Malley until he exited the medical drama at the end of season 5 — has been locked down with his longtime beau, Patrick Leahy, for more than a decade.

The two met in 2010 and tied the knot on Oct. 4, 2013, in a private ceremony attended by his friend and former Grey’s costar Katherine Heigl.

Knight honored his husband on their 10th wedding anniversary by sharing a sweet photo of himself and Leahy on Instagram alongside the caption, “Ten years ago yesterday, I got married to this extraordinary man. Never dreamed this could happen in my lifetime. We hold close to our hearts all those that never had- nor will have- this right.”

12 of 16

Jessica Capshaw and Christopher Gavigan

Christopher Gavigan and Jessica Capshaw attend the 2015 Baby2Baby Gala at 3LABS in Culver City, Calif., on Nov. 14, 2015Credit: Stefanie Keenan/Getty

Capshaw, who played Dr. Arizona Robbins, has been married to entrepreneur Christopher Gavigan, the co-founder of The Honest Company, since May 22, 2004.

In celebration of her and Gavigan’s 15th wedding anniversary in 2019, the 9-1-1: Nashville actress shared a photo of the two hugging and smiling on Instagram alongside the heartfelt caption, “Fifteen years of marriage with this total dreamboat... Love, laughter, commitment, learning, more laughter, kids, community, travel, nesting, even more laughter, respect, inspiration and then even more LOVE.”

“I’m so grateful to be in this together, forever,” she concluded. “I love you.”

The pair share four children: son Luke and daughters Eve, Poppy and Josephine Kate.

Capshaw has discussed some of her family’s traditions in the past, which included new ones she and Gavigan created for their brood.

“On Christmas morning, my husband is chasing the elves away. [He] clears them out before the kids can come down the stairs to see what’s underneath the Christmas tree — which has pretty much all my children simultaneously exhilarated and terrified that there are elves that might be living downstairs,” she told PEOPLE in December 2016.

13 of 16

Sarah Drew and Peter Lanfer

Sarah Drew and Peter Lanfer attend the Elton John AIDS Foundation’s 32nd annual Academy Awards Viewing Party in West Hollywood, Calif., on March 10, 2024Credit: Frazer Harrison/Getty

Long before she became the eccentric Dr. April Kepner, Drew was in a relationship with Peter Lanfer. The pair wed on June 17, 2002, and later welcomed two children: Micah Emmanuel and Hannah Mali Rose.

Her kids have grown up to be her support system, with Drew even revealing that her son helped her process the “pain” of leaving Grey’s Anatomy in 2018 at the end of season 14.

“I’ve had Micah say to me, ‘What’s so great is that if you were still on Grey’s, you would not be able to be on Mistletoe Murders,’ “ she said on the Between Us Moms podcast in January 2025, referring to her new show. “And I was like, ‘You’re right. You’re right.’ And this is the joy that came out of that closed door. What I’m living in and experiencing right now.”

14 of 16

Kelly McCreary and Pete Chatmon

Pete Chatmon and Kelly McCreary attend the opening night of ‘Giant’ on Broadway at the Music Box Theatre in N.Y.C. on March 23, 2026Credit: Bruce Glikas/WireImage

Married life was quite the rollercoaster for Kelly McCreary’s character, Dr. Maggie Pierce, but in real life, it’s been smoother sailing. In fact, the show was the perfect conduit for the actress and her husband, Pete Chatmon, as the two met on set. (She exited the series during season 19.)

McCreary and Chatmon said “I do” in an intimate seaside wedding ceremony in May 2019, and she shared images of their big day on Instagram.

“Married, yo! In our favorite place, surrounded by beloved family and friends, and under the new moon,” she wrote. “I am besieged by blessings. I love you, @petechatmon!!”

Chatmon is a director who led episodes of Power: Origins, Yellowjackets, Elle and High Potential, among many other shows.

The couple welcomed daughter Indigo Wren in October 2021.

15 of 16

Giacomo Gianniotti and Nichole Gustafson

Nichole Gustafson and Giacomo Gianniotti attend Ending Youth Homelessness: A Benefit for My Friend’s Place at the Hollywood Palladium in L.A. on April 6, 2019Credit: Vivien Killilea/Getty

Giacomo Gianniotti portrayed the late Dr. Andrew DeLuca from 2015 to 2021. During that time, he married Nichole Gustafson on April 28, 2019, returning to the place he was born: Rome.

The couple said “I do” at Villa Pocci, which sits on a lake and overlooks Castel Gandolfo, a year after the Grey’s heartthrob proposed.

On the couple’s sixth wedding anniversary, Gianniotti penned a poem to his wife on Instagram, writing: “Best Decision I ever made. / You got a friend in me. For life. / There is no storm we cannot weather. / And we are always better together. / 6 years since this day, I can’t believe it. / I guess time flies when you’re having fun. / Ride or die. I got you. / Ti amo, per sempre.”

16 of 16

Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelley

Josh Kelley and Katherine Heigl attend the 75th Primetime Emmy Awards at Peacock Theater in L.A. on Jan. 15, 2024Credit: Kevin Mazur/Getty

Heigl starred as Dr. Isobel “Izzie” Stevens from Grey’s Anatomy’s pilot through season 6. Though she didn’t meet her husband Josh Kelley on that set, she met him on a different one: his “Only You” music video in 2005.

The pair got engaged in 2006 and wed in Park City, Utah, on Dec. 23, 2007. Knight attended the ceremony, along with former Grey’s costars Sandra Oh and Kate Walsh.

Kelly previously told PEOPLE that his Emmy-winning wife was “so great,” adding, “We’re both kind of carbon copies of each other in some ways, and we have our differences, which makes things fun and exciting.”

They’ve continued to collaborate professionally, with Heigl making cameos in a few of Kelly’s music videos over the years.

Heigl and Kelley share three children.

on People

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Source: “AOL Entertainment”